NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FOR 2013: GET MORE SLEEP

I am saving my last precious hours of vacation before going back to the daily grind.

I am really enjoying my David Byrne & Fatboy Slim playlist on Imelda Marcos, procrastinating on my overdue Russian assignment/Powerpoint. 

Onto Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
 "I just said 'fantasy' and 'struggle' in the same sentence, and on one level, at least, I guess that's what it's about. That's what it's about for cowgirls, and maybe everybody else. A lot of life boils down to the question of whether a person is going to be able to realize his fantasies, or else end up surviving only through compromises he can't face up to. The way I figure it, Heaven and Hell are right here on Earth. Heaven is living in your hopes and Hell is living in your fears. It's up to each individual which one he chooses." 

Jelly paused. 

"I told that to the Chink once and he said, 'Every fear is part hope and every hope is part fear--quit dividing things up and taking sides.' Well, that's the Chink for you. What do you think?" 

"I'd like to hear more," said Sissy. She was feeling a certain kinship with this duded-up bundle of wild muscle and baby fat. "Can you be more specific?" 

"Specific. Okay. I'm talking about our fantasies. You know the difference between fantasy and reality, don't you? Fantasy is when you wake up at four o'clock on Christmas morning and you're so crazy excited you can't possibly go back to sleep. But when you go downstairs and look under the tree--podner, that's reality."

Last day of 2012

Perfect sentiment for this year-end. A toast for all things I succeeded and failed in trying. It surely has been a very busy year. 

Trips: Bangkok, Singapore, Baler, Bolinao, Batangas, Cebu, Bali

Highlights: Laneway Festival, Reverse Bungy, Walking without slippers, Traveling alone. Julie's visit (Kaberos, Rue, Relik, Skye), Vincent Moon coming to Manila, Big Bad Wolf, Team lunchouts, 70s bistro, Maginhawa St trip, Early Sunday mornings at Legaspi Market, NEW HAIRCUT, High times with bing and lari, Yellowcab's solo bacon, mango and egg pizza, bulletin board making in the office, crayola art, underwater hockey, painting, Russian class, Driving, Somerset birthday party, hospital with Mama and Teptep

Best Thoughts of 2012: Impressions by Salvador Dali, Wonderfalls, The Artist (french film), Isabel Allende, Eux Autres, Yu Aoi movies

Now I need rest. I need sleep.

My mistletoe

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? 

Moment of truth

Yesterday I gave away my insurance money to a stranger. 6,000 pesos. A big sum for a spender like me. Well, she isn't a complete stranger. She is the secretary of the agent collecting money for my quarterly insurance.

When she went to collect it, she asked if she could borrow the money first and pay me on January 10. She explained that she needed it for her sister's or aunt's CT scan. I couldn't remember for whom it was. She was hoping to get the money and not inform her boss (my insurance agent) about it until she could pay me back on said date.

I don't know if it is true. She looked like she was really desperate to ask for this arrangement. I did agree partly because I know how it feels not to have money and not know where to get it. Asking for a stranger like me could be less shameful rather than having to ask it from someone she knows. At the same time, I didn't want her to think like I could be manipulated. If it was a scam, then kudos to her.

I saw her crying when I came back to give her ID. And I still cannot move past her crying.

Taxis have no free will.

"And if you ever get lonely, just go down to the record store and visit all your friends."

Monologue

12/14/2012

Today is the day I wanted to get out of noise - TV, people, shallow things, bullshit, pessimism, et al. but now that the day ended, I wished I have a bestfriend to talk to.

Storm never ends

I'm tired. 

I'm angry. 

I feel really bad.

I couldn't feel optimistic.

There's just no room to cry.