It is the end of the day and I feel like singing "The National - About Today" to myself. My brain is getting messed up again and stretches itself open to the sacredness of life. The orderly fashion of dealing with misery starts at the point of my own failure to sigh. I wanted to cry somehow but no tears escape my eyes. Why am I sad again? My trip to South Korea was fun. I just got home.
Sometimes I worry that at the end of my life I may not be brave enough to face death and for that I would remain a ghost. I dont want that to happen. I want to be at peace.
It's my first time to encounter winter season and it is unbearable. The warmth of the morning sun isn't enough to feel my toes.
Being homesick when there isn't anyone waiting back home is the oddest thing. Korea do seem interesting but home has been on my mind.
*Traffic in the sky - Jack Johnson
I've been more introspective these days.
Choosing to stay at home than meet up with friends for dinner invitations.
Choosing to eat at my desk than join the lunch-hour chatter.
It's easy to get lost in other people's stories, sensible or senseless, and get blinded by tangible things. Sometimes I do get into these episodes when there are so many things going on. I want to step back. The information overload makes me hard to remember dates experiences moments.
Scattered thoughts, scattered head, scattered things, scattered head.
It's all over the place. I don't want to end up jaded.
I always have the strangest feeling that the disease I fear the most is what will hit me.
