Sincerely

Thank you for the attention but I dont think it's in my best interest right now.

I dont know if this could be the smartest or dumbest thing I would do. I hope I wont have to say this to you. You are nice, sweet, cheerful and a bit crazy. You are a ray of sunshine sneaking in my scattered room of gloom and horrors.

Forgive me for always eating your happy thoughts with hard-edge tactless words. Or my failure to respond to the things you tell me.

If all these gifts and question of when will i see you again and how i am is just your innocent means of getting to know me, it has got to stop. Stop asking me out. Stop inviting me to trips. Stop asking me how I am. I am not even there yet with you.

Its all intense. Your words are over intense. Its scaring me.

I have a lot on my plate right now and I dont even have anything to offer.

I know I'm walking away to a-what-could-have-been.

Im sorry.

You get shot down while you try to stand up

Sometimes I feel there's a disparity with how I see myself and how people see me. This happens most of the time in the workplace. When I go in there, I take my job seriously but I still have lots of fun. I work hard, I work with integrity and I do have hopes that I will be able to motivate people one step at a time and move the team forward. 

People have an opinion on everything. There are weird people who make snotty comments about how I dress up, like they always ask me why am I wearing heels and all, or why do I dress up nice today. which is just for me completely bullshit because I haven't shopped in ages and they think I'm wearing something for the first time. Some people say I keep pleasing people. Some say I am indifferent to people. Probably they all couldn't just believe that even if people say a lot of weird things that don't make sense to me, I am still nice to them. I let them be themselves and I don't disrespect what they're saying. What is truly sad with all this is that these opinions come from people who I keep hanging out with. It is sad because this happens in any other workplace.

I don't think I have the patience to deal with this but it keeps nagging me in the sense that I have to deal with this and to at least say my opinion about this.

What keeps me going is turning to the people who believe I can do grand things and who creates a world where ideas are nurtured and not made fun of. Turn to their own selves and keep believing that the vision you are thinking today could be executed tomorrow. I get shot down most of the time, but all I have to do is go back to the drawing board and rethink.

You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness, well jump on, you can gorge away

Last night, I watched Bloc Party LIVE!!! I remember using this quote on my Friendster account back when I was still in college. I still couldn't believe that they are as good as the videos I watch on YouTube. It was a good thing that Karen forced me in this last minute purchase. We danced with our tired feet. Karen sang to almost every song. We screamed when all the sad songs started playing (So Here We Are, Sunday, Kreuzberg, Truth). We were the groupies who didn't make it to the first row. 

Everybody was such in a party mood, specifically the three foreigners going wild in front of us.

The stage production was also lovely.

Great, great night.

Could I have more of these please?? :)

but in the morning after the night i fall in love with the light

It's the middle of March. It's summer. It's 30 degrees. I'm dehydrated. This is another hangover to deal with, but I woke up so early because I am happy. 


The last two days has made me feel alive again. I've been burned out with work and non-work stuff.

Maybe I should regularly see my friends even if I don't have money to dine out. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX3Cd1_BTRg 

Worrying

Sometimes so much anticipation gets to me. I could hardly sleep.

Sheer luck

Every so often I get introduced to pretty, good music. Then I'd take the whole weekend to clean my ipod and look at my random post-it notes with songs I don't want to forget. First time to find out that the artist below is also in my list of music to download.

Friendship unfolding

Meeting new people, with whom you share the same interests with, is a dime in a dozen.