Running short on morphine

Adrienne Rich: "I regret all the women I have not slept with or comforted, who pulled themselves away from me for lack of something I had not the courage to fight for, for us, our life, our planet, our city, our meat and potatoes, our love."

Fighting battles alone

It's been a month now since I was given this new role in my team and everyday has been challenging. Everyday I am being made fun of because I got the job at this 'young' age and they are associating every tiny detail I do with my new role.

Sucks  bigtime.

I realized that now I have fewer friends. All the while I thought this new role would bring me redemption or at least prove that I am doing things right. I hope they give me 2-3 years before they kick me out. I just want to fix this team, make sure it's up and running, and commit them for the long haul.

They have to let me do my job, right?

Where do I gear up?

Indecent obsession

Whenever I look you up, there's always that feeling we are doing the same things but in different places. Like we're both reading Adrienne Rich over our morning coffee, or late at night on 99 bottles of beer, with a somber Bill Callahan in the background.

It's cosmic, I tell you.

I don't understand why we are not friends. The forces of the universe will never find time for you and I to meet.

What I talk about when I talk about running

I play your stories and my thoughts keep chasing you. Lapsing through the shadows of time. And inside my head its an endless marathon. I'm tired but I can't stop myself. Running back then turning myself around to assure that I am still moving forward.


Tragedy falls on the fool who gets left behind.


The farther I move away from the past the anxiety becomes bigger. I never liked burning bridges, but it seems it's what I do best. I never had any intention of burning them. I never had any intention of burning you. But it didn't seem like you are bothered that we haven't talked in a year.


Wish we could start talking again. But I am leaving you in peace. Wherever you maybe I am happy that you're able to live as you wish.

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You can't keep staring out the window

Wisdom reigns like water from heaven to below.

Crush my earth, seeds sow, garden start to grow.

You know you've got to rise, though you like to flow.

You can't keep staring out the window.

Earth, water, wind, fire we stay low while getting higher.

Spark igniter, fighting tired

Stay wired, enlighten loads.

Stay alive, weep wail chant, cry, let out a sigh

Energized, give out my last dime, life shouldn't pass me by.

Rise, to the occasion.

Keep these hearts all blazin.

Build your life on a river of wax.

There's a striking image in my head of a woman drinking water running in the canal. I saw her from afar on my way home several nights ago. And I just watched her. She's there, I am here: sitting on a tricycle, moving past her, farther and farther away.


How could those lips touch the dirty murky water? How could those lips be so thirsty that it had no other choice but to drink from the canal? She was even poised enough to use a broken plastic cup in scooping water.


Looking back I should have gone down the trike and bought water from a convenience store.


Maybe I don't have the courage to act on impulse.

And i dont know if doing it just serves for self satisfaction.

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Daily dose of hormones

If only I could work for this girl, but I think it would be too fun and vain.




There are no reruns to life.




I couldn't find this song on mp3.

Everyday is Like Sunday

05.13.2012

Title is a tribute to Morrissey because today is his concert here in Manila and I couldn't help but feel a bit bummed that I won't get to watch it. (Tickets are expensive, starting at 3k). 

As his song goes, everyday is like sunday, share some greased tea with me. I like waking up early when it's sunday, while the streets are still quiet, and there's time on my hands to do nothing. Day of rest before the noise of a busy week comes in. Plus nobody is demanding anything from me. It's meant to be serene and stress-free. 

Teptep, my sister, agreed to come share this Sunday with me. We went around Legazpi market to get some rare food finds (Ilocos empanada, Indonesian food, buko juice) and buy some sweet nothings for moms we know. Stopped by Romulo cafe for dessert and mall for my sister's make-up shopping. 

Pure honey at Legazpi Market

Pinoy Nachos at Romulo cafe

Ordered mocktails to quench the summer heat

Dome cake that's too much for both of us