Pressure drops to zero, or that's what I thought

"I'm not comparing myself to anyone." 


That's what I told my mother on my way home as we were discussing my future plans (i.e. a postgrad degree) and where I am with my life goals. It's always one of the things my mom likes to bring up each time I ride with her after work. The reason it has been brought up again is that my younger sister is officially starting her masters this month, under a fully paid scholarship at UP. 


It's not that I am slacking off, really. The main roadblock is that I haven't decided how to get to where I want to be five years from now or 10 years from now. 


The idea of being given a scholarship or a grant brings me a lot of endorphins but if it would be an MBA or MPP, I am not sure if this actually the kind of life I want to pursue. Going up the corporate ladder, being a domesticated-sitting addict, dealing with office politics daily, and trying to be one step ahead of everyone else. I don't think I want to get trapped in this kind of stress. 


Sometimes my mind is entirely divided into pursuing this business-minded path or this vocational path. My concern with this vocational path is that I am not entirely sure if I have the guts to completely alter my lifestyle and be broke all the time. This kind of lifestyle has already helped me escape the cages in life. I am able to travel when I want to, do things I would like to try, get out when my friends call me, and be in a different place altogether even if I am alone.

Everyday I think of being out there. Constantly in movement. Riding the great railway bazaar. Chancing upon hole-in-the-walls and meeting new people. But I don't have a clue where to start. Striking up a conversation is an entirely different roadblock. 


Vocational options:
If I take up journalism, it's too fast-paced to think and write, express with words and photos.
If I take up design or anything that seems utterly pretentious, I feel like I'd be going against my own beliefs on living with a more socially relevant purpose.
If I take up arts management, I would be overwhelmed with the excesses of life.


Got ideas for me?