Don't be afraid, just have faith

I don't want to sound preachy but I did get the title at yesterday's homily. I attended mass alone after a day's work. Sometimes, I just need somebody else's words breathing into my disturbances. I am getting tired of motivating my self without knowing which direction I'm going to. I've been looking at the rearview mirror all this time, afraid of what lies ahead or that I won't see anything at all. Like what Herman Melville wrote in Typee:

Six months at sea! Yes, reader, as I live, six months out of sight of land; cruising after the sperm-whale beneath the scorching sun of the Line, and tossed on the billows of the wide-rolling Pacific--the sky above, the sea around, and nothing else! Weeks and weeks ago our fresh provisions were all exhausted. There is not a sweet potato left; not a single yam. Those glorious bunches of bananas, which once decorated our stern and quarter-deck, have, alas, disappeared! and the delicious oranges which hung suspended from our tops and stays--they, too, are gone! Yes, they are all departed, and there is nothing left us but salt-horse and sea-biscuit.

Seriously. Talk about despair and anxiety. How can you tell that things will get better? I used to think I was made out of steel but not a tiny portion of my soul could have endured last year's famous disaster. 


Barely surviving, my friends.


It's been a year, and I'm still messed up.