Idealism in the time of cholera

Roadblocks are big showstoppers. Everything in your life seemed to be going just fine until that next step when you find yourself lost in your own rhythm. You have to deal with mishaps and shake yourself with the possibility that life will never ever be easy again.

I was actually doing well at the start of 2012 until three 360 degree turns in the reverse bungy had awaken my angry sleeping ghosts. Everything I thought, heard and read blurred my steady mindset. I've been successful at recovering and trying to see things with a more positive and healthy attitude. But now, this relapse has moved me into stranger dimensions. I don't know why I am depressed again. How did this happen?!

It's hard to think straight. I am missing people. I've been dreaming of people I don't normally talk to. I have been sleeping around 4 am for several consecutive days now and not having the urge to get up. I would never call myself an insomniac. I am craving for sweets which isn't very me. I have no appetite for knowledge. I have no idea how to move forward.

Could someone please tell me? 

I am dying to get out of here. 

I want to be okay. I want to feel okay.